08.25.2019

I was here most recently on the first day of my vacation, and I’m back again on the last day. On one hand, I have very little to report, especially if you might be hoping for evidence of adventures or projects, of what I did on my vacation. On the other hand, it has been a very good week.

I’ve gotten in the habit of taking some quiet time off at home over the holidays mid-winter, but at the height of summer my instinct is to go to the wilds to unwind. Staying home wasn’t so much an affirmative choice as a default option; it happened because planning and executing a week-long camping trip felt like too much.

I made a conscious effort to choose presence but otherwise had little plan or agenda. A puzzle instead of online reading. Records instead of streaming. Outings to town for ice cream or thrifting. Lots of puttering in the yard. A rabbit hole of Carter Family music history.

Dear friends came to visit and I got filled up on good conversation and it was wonderful to share time with them. And I’m really grateful that I had a few days on either side to just reconnect with myself and follow the pure whims of my own self.

After just a couple days, things started bubbling up unprompted. Ideas about how to execute a creative project I’ve had in the back of my mind for a year or more. The obvious furniture rearranging that would make two rooms work better but had never crossed my mind. The simple motivation to clean and reorganize the overstuffed tea drawers that had been annoying everyone for ages.

I know that it takes creating space to allow those ideas to bubble up. And creating that space right here, at home, meant being able to jump right in when they did. I think in the past I might have come home with a killer to-do list of all these great ideas and then been frustrated by not following through after I was back to the full routine of life. But instead, I feel like I executed the ones that were really great (instant gratification!) and let go of the ones that sounded great but didn’t actually invite me in.

I feel like I unlocked some secret door this week even if I can’t quite see what it means. Maybe just that finding real happiness, right at home, is a powerful thing.

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